Relationship Guide: Attention to detail

A major factor in success of relationships

Attention to detail is of the utmost importance at this point. Patiently explain why you are doing this, all the while paying attention to the sound of her voice, the tenseness of her muscles, any marks or color, how she seems psychologically, and whether she is still struggling or resisting.

Attention to detail is a major tool in helping me conclude if my wife has had enough. Once I have determined that she has reached that totally submissive state, a major connection takes place, and yes it is a very magical dynamic that seems like a fantasy but believe me it is real; my wife is in what she calls “the zone”.

Attention to detail has been a major factor in our success in our relationship. It helped me squash a potentially disastrous situation and major disconnection. I have not had to address that issue since. Certainly it will take a little time to develop the necessary attention to detail, but once you have it, what marvelous tool it is.

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I have to agree that this would be the ideal situation. I was the one who initiated the taken in hand relationship with my husband, so, as Race said, I continue to initiate corrections and this is frustrating. I am encouraged that he writes that this is a slow process, because I do see some small signs of change. But, as most women on this site would agree, being "taken in hand" means not HAVING to be in charge of the changes being made! And yet--there is the sense that if we don't continue to initiate, the whole thing will fall apart due to the husband's inattention!

We had this problem too. I think part of it was that I had always pushed for things all along. He insisted right from the start that he would set the pace. He understands sometimes more than me what a big change this is for us. He knows that if we move too quickly we will not be happy with the results. So he always reminds me when I get frustrated, much like Race, that he is in charge and he sets the pace. As time goes on we are moving forward and we are getting closer. Growth takes time, and we have had and still have a lot of growing to do.

Naturally, I sympathise with the women who crave more control and push for it – I want it all, and I want it now! But Tevemer's husband seems very wise to me. It is so true that things can go horribly wrong if you try to change too quickly. The number of possible blind alleys is huge, and whilst you are bound to go down one or two here and there in this or anything else, taking things slowly can help avoid going so far down a blind alley that you can't find your way back out of it and end up lost and cursing yourself for having been so foolish as to set out on such a journey!

Yes, it's frustrating; yes, we want it all and we want it now, but it is a considerate and caring man who does not cave in to any inadvertent pressure on our parts to take total control and do it NOW! (On the other hand..... I want it all, and I want it now!)

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What a wonderful journey Loveawake has turned out to be for my wife and me. We have had some challenges as I am sure that most couples have once they start. As most of you know or have read my wife and I are somewhat new to Loveawake dating site (13 months). But we have made huge strides by taking baby steps and by paying attention to detail. We also read all the wonderful articles posted on Loveawake blog.

In our relationship I drive, I am the head of the household, and I have my wife's blanket consent. At the start of this journey my wife sent me an e-mail and was reminiscing about a spat we had had in the first years of our marriage. I had taken her over my knee and spanked her behind. My wife wrote about how much she had craved and desired that kind of attention from that day on, but had been too afraid to tell me.

Loveawake the first month was such a trial and error month but without really realizing it, communication and connection was really flourishing. I found myself not only listening to my wife when we were in discussion, but I was hearing and paying attention to detail.


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Stages of relationships

I think at that point I was starting to get it. Things were going great for the next handful of months then one of those challenges reared its ugly head.

When they finally get the nerve to ask to be in relationships, and it becomes reality, some women become a little impatient and grow weary of the two steps forward one step back dynamic that seems to exist in the early stages of relationships. They may have a tendency to push for more, trying to control the process. I think that this is common in most relationships unless the male initiates relationships, and it is understandable. It is the woman's way of testing your control, and it is important not to drop the ball at that point. By paying attention to detail you can recognize when a lady is doing this and will be able to extinguish this small fire right away.

One way to handle this is engage your lady and ask her firmly, “Do you think you are in charge now?” If she is still resistant or cops an attitude, you can prompt her again. If she doesn't respond positively at that point the dynamics change. Remain calm, and establish your authority by correcting her physically. This will reassure her that you are in control.


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Datum laatste wijziging: 25-02-2022

Aanmaakdatum: 04-02-2022

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